Away in a hybrid
No pure p allowed
The fuzzy electron
Lay down her sweet cloud

Clyde Heisenberg tells us
There's uncertainty
Oh, stupid electron
Just where can you be

You know carbon and neon and boron and copper
Fluorine and chlorine and silver and tungsten
But do you recall
The most famous atom of all?

Xenon the inert atom
Had a very stable shell
And if you ever sniffed it
You would even say it's swell

All the other atoms
Used to laugh and call it names
They never let poor xenon
Play in any bonding games

Then one dark and stormy night
Fluorine came to say
"Xenon with your outer shell,
You could pair my p so well

Then how the chemists loved him
As they shouted out with glee
Xenon di and tetra fluoride
You'll go down in history

Gas explodes are you listenin'
In your test tube silver glistens
A beautiful sight we're happy tonight
Walking in a chemistry wonderland.

Gone away is the buoyancy
Here to stay is the density
A beautiful sight we're happy tonight
Walking in a chemistry wonderland

In the beaker we make lead carbonate
And decide if what is left is nitrate
My partner asks, "Do we measure in moles or grams?"
And I'll say, "Does it matter in the end?"

Later on as we calculate
The amount of our nitrate
We'll face unafraid
The precipitates we made
Walking in a chemistry wonderland.

I'm dreaming of a snap final
Just like the one I used to know
Where no M.O. glistens
And teachers listen
To bad luck stories full of snow

I'm dreaming of a snap final
With every crib note that I write
May your tests be true/false and light
And may all your guesses turn out right

Silent tin, holey zinc
Both lose two, neither stink
Round some acids
The can be wild
With some bases
They're tender and mild
Sleep in oxide sheets
Sleep in oxide sheets

On the first day of chemistry
My teacher gave to me
A guide to the laboratory

[Second day] Two asbestos pads
[Third day] Three little beakers
[Fourth day] Four work sheets
[Fifth day] Five golden moles
[Sixth day] Six flaming test tubes
[Seventh day] Seven unknown samples
[Eighth day] Eight homework problems
[Ninth day] Nine grams of salt
[Tenth day] A ten page test
[Eleventh day] Eleven molecules
[Twelfth day] A twelve point quiz